Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving

I was curious about this day and did a bit of reading.  We all know about the first Thanksgiving between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indian tribe in Massachusetts. The Pilgrims had survived their first brutal New England winter. Only half of the colonists who had made that voyage on the Mayflower had survived that winter. Only five women survived. Think about that.

When the settlers actually set foot on land an English-speaking Abenaki Indian approached them and this man introduced the pilgrims to a man that proved to be essential to their survival that winter, a Pawtuxet Indian named Squanto.  He taught the sick, stressed and very weak pilgrims the methods required to grow corn, catch river fish, extract the sap from maple trees, and which poisonous plants to avoid. He also facilitated an alliance with the nearby Wampanoag Indian tribe. Following the first successful corn harvest later that year, Governor William Bradford instituted a three-day celebration, and invited the neighboring Wampanoag Indian tribe. Records show that 53 colonists and 90 Wampanoag attended the first Thanksgiving. I imagine that was truly a thankful celebration for sure.

However, it was not until October 1777 that all 13 colonies actually celebrated a day of Thanksgiving. The first national day of Thanksgiving was held in 1789, when President George Washington proclaimed Thursday, November 26 to be "a day of public thanksgiving and prayer." Also, we were to be thankful for the opportunity to form a new nation with a constitutional government.

And that is the history of this day.

I have been very reflective this year about Thanksgiving, more than ever before. I have been wishing everyone crossing my path this week a really wonderful Happy Thanksgiving and telling them how much they mean to me. The response was pretty terrific actually. Mostly, people were initially stunned. Some cried. But, to a person every one of them responded so beautifully.  One woman at work kept thanking me over and over for saying this to her, that “it made her holiday”.

I am literally brimming with gratitude this Thanksgiving.  I feel it, really feel it.  I am even grateful for the not so great things in my life, and there are quite a few. But, they teach me things.  Maybe not what I want but they do teach me things, LIKE PATIENCE!  But, eventually “the not so great things” will move on, they always do.

I am grateful to my wonderful family 3000 miles away, but as close as one beat of my heart.

I am grateful for our friends who are dotted throughout the country; I love them all so very much. There is a saying that “friends become our chosen family”. I believe that this is so true.

I am so very grateful for our work, even with the struggles. I pray that it will make some difference in the world and if not, that researchers behind us learn from it and push forward.

And oh my gosh, I am grateful for my animals. My mother said to me years ago “it is good you have all these animals it keeps you human.” I was highly offended when she said this at the time. But, I see now she was totally right. They help notice the weather and temperature, the feel of the wind, flying bugs, squirrels in the trees, the size of nostrils, the sounds of things, the time to feed them, that a cat on your lap makes working at the computer easier, the joy of riding in the car with the windows open, the joy of seeing your loved one even if they have only been gone for five minutes, that walking with a horse can be one of the most peaceful things in the world, and a million other things.

I am grateful to have had the ability to live in so many places in America. I walked out on the patio at the ranch this morning and looked down toward the valley.  It is such a pretty site I thanked God for this blessing too.

We are going to dinner tonight at the home of a lovely family that has “adopted” us here in California. We are so grateful for this. The wonderful Bennett family in Indiana did this for us when we lived there. In our hearts we will stand with the Bennetts as they have their family Thanksgiving prayer.

I am offering a prayer for each of you who read this. That Thanksgiving reach down into your being and bless you. That you hug and kiss the people you love. That you know warmth and contentment. And that you don’t miss a minute of your blessed life. Because it really is blessed.  You just have to notice it.

This is who I really am

May 27, 2013 - Memorial Day - California

This is who I really am

Today was a perfectly beautiful Memorial Day here in southern California. Cloudless blue sky and around 76 degrees. I went down to the barn where my horse Felix is stabled. I took him out of his stall and let him out into the big arena.  It was too wonderful - no one (humans) around to bother us and ask for the arena after 10 minutes. I pulled a plastic chair out into the arena as well and sat in the shade under some trees.  He rolled twice and then visited with the horses looking at him out of their stall windows. I read for a while and then did something I haven't done in a million years, well since before grad school at least, I took a pencil and sketched a picture of Felix. I looked at how the light and shade traced his muscles, body, neck, legs.  It has been too, too long since I actually looked at anything and "saw" it.  I mean I look at science data all the time - but this is different.  To see the world - instead of glancing at it as you move by.

I sat out there looking at Felix for about two hours. He would walk to a stall window and stand with a horse for a long time.  Then move to the next window and stand. I realized this was his one taste of "the herd". He eventually turned and walked straight at

me and stood next to the chair.  He put his nose on top of my hat.  I stood up and just stood next to him shoulder to shoulder for a while. He seemed to enjoy this.  He is a beautiful 16.1-hand bay Azteca male. He has a white spot shaped like lightening across his brow - I called it his Harry Potter marking. Two guys smoking cigarettes then came by and wanted the arena.  So we move on to a smaller arena that adjoins a third arena.

I let him loose in the arena and pulled another chair into it and sat in some shade. He eventually came up behind me and started sniffing my straw hat then he pushed it down in front on my eyes. My friend Riki riding by outside the arena yelled "see if you can read now?" I straightened out my hat and continued to read and sure enough he did it again. I stood up and straightened out my hat and walked forward thinking he would follow me.  Instead he picked up the arm of the chair turned it over and throw my book on the ground.  I said "ok I get it!" So I walked back - put my book in my bag - and put the bag and chair outside the arena. 

I should tell you I grew up in Queens, NY in a two room apartment.  Horses were never a part of my world. They are still a mystery to me in so many ways. But, Felix has been very patient with me. To be honest I was fearful of him when he first came into my life.  He could have been a dragon.  He is taller than me and weighs in at 1200 lbs. A dragon.

I knew from dogs.  I didn't know from horses.  Horses ARE NOT dogs I have learned. They are horses - they are themselves. But, in the course of a year I have come to love him so much. Just love him.

I put his halter back on him and clicked his lead rope back on to it and decided to walk around the arena with him to work on walking, backing up and stopping.  We walked around about 7 times when all of a sudden he started, looked behind him and reared up. He turned and ran at the gate that separated the two arenas.  I had let the lead rope go. I know trainers would say this was a bad thing - but we were in the arena I knew he wasn't going anywhere. Outside I would fight tooth and nail to hold him - but here I didn't have to. He was his now standing at full height - head and neck stretched up - and his tail high.  Every muscle was standing and he was running up and down the gate.  I had never seen this before. It turned out a woman had let a HUGE male Belgian draft horse (2000lbs) into the adjoining arena and it was running - its hooves were pounding and pounding the ground.  The Belgian got to the gate and he and Felix were both going into full display.  Prancing up and down the gate at their full heights.  It was something to see.  The woman with the Belgian yelled to me that Felix was one of the most beautiful horses she ever saw.  Another woman riding by the arena called to me and told me what an "incredibly beautiful horse he was".  A young girl rode by and asked me "is he was a wild horse?" I replying "yes, at this moment".

A year ago I would have run out of the arena.  Now I just stood there and watched him. At a point he turned his head and looked straight at me - and these words voiced in my head "this is who I really am". It amazed me because they came out of nowhere.  I walked up to him - picked up the lead and unhooked it from his halter. He turned and run as fast as he could. I started to swing the rope to keep him going.  I knew he had a ton of energy to get out and moving him would do it.  He was beautiful.  Every muscle in motion and stretched out. Just beautiful.

I had been wondering just yesterday where his place would be in a herd.  Today I got my answer. He would be the stallion - the protector of the herd. He had heard the Belgian hooves and charged towards them. 

Our trainer Tiffany came up with two young girls on horses she was giving a lesson to.  She said "are you all right!" I said "sure - he just has some energy."  She needed the arena but asked "are you okay walking him back to the stall?" I said "we would be fine". I hooked Felix's lead rope back onto the halter and we walked back to the barn.  As we were went along he calmly walked behind me on my right side. Head down and quietly walking.  I stopped - he stopped - I walked - he walked - I told him to back up - he backed up. He was choosing to let me lead. I thought what an honor.  He chose me as leader.  I put him back in his stall.  Gave him a treat.  We stood and looked at each other.

I will never see him the same way.  He is not a puppy.  He is not a pet. He is so much bigger than that 12X12 stall.  He is 55 million years of genetics.  He is something we can never touch.  He is freedom. He chooses me to lead but I will never "own" him.

I was talking to my sister Barbara about this tonight and telling her how this day had touched me.  How Felix was so much more than I ever previously thought.  She said "you saw the difference between choosing to follow verses submission".

This is a gift.